A Fearsome Adolescence

I have been not overjoyed with Lyle's behavior lately, and haven't felt like recording his activities, much less the relations between the owners of his little (better-behaved! more languid! sedate!) dog-friends.

In his fearsome adolescence, Lyle is dogged in his pursuit of attention. He has a low growl going all the time, which only stops when the focus shifts to him. He wants to explore and galavant, but only under my watchful eye.

I don't have time for this! Where is my layabout dog, happy just to breathe the air around my heels? Where is my faithful companion who understands that all monkeys outrank all canines? Where is my pet?

Don't Take Your Dog to Play Frisbee Golf

Enough said.

Dog Park Footwear

Unless you are planning to wash your feet after leaving the dog park, open footwear -- mules; sandals; my god, flip-flops -- is gross. In fact, it's gross even if you are going to wash your feet. The park is 90% toilet, people!

New running shoes look like a waste; old running shoes are fine.

Any kind of dress or office shoe is a mistake; people for the most part can't stop their dogs from stepping on your shoes -- some dogs have long nails that can easily gouge leather. You'll look like an ass if you pitch a fit. Dress smart!

Willie's golf shoes are fun and fashionably unfashionable.

Clogs keep you above the mess and they look tuff! They're also good for standing in if you can't get a seat on the bench (or if someone you don't want to be trapped in conversation with is sitting next to the only open spot on the bench). Keep an old pair around to clonk to the park in.

The winnah! And it comes in Blueberry, too -- yum.

Whooo! HAHAHA!

One of Asil's many friends in meatspace (or "reality") has pointed out that in this week's New Yorker there is a humorous essay (not unrelated to the subject of this blog) in which a dog goes Tom Cruise-crazy over a new bitch at the park. Henjoy.

Soap Opera Digest

WILL Willie and the scuba instructor finally get together, now that he knows she used to dance at a gentlemen's club? Or will this knowledge drive him in the other direction?

DOES the scuba instructor know that the muscle head she fancies is queer as a three-dollar bill?

WILL the yoga instructor realize he's been striking out lately in part because of his dog's aggressive behavior, which girls assume indicates an aggressive tendency in him?

DOES Queen Bitch know we all call him a bitch behind his back?

DOES Juicy know that just being at the park allows flecks of atomized dog shit to become trapped in her lip gloss?